Turkish Delight
One night during my first trip overseas to Turkey as a 19 year old Army private, we decided to enjoy the status our full per diem and a favorable exchange rate imparted. We made reservations at a four star establishment down town and I got ready to eat the first gourmet meal of my life. I don’t know what I expected but what I got was mind boggling and gave an inkling of what life in the Ottoman Empire might have been like.
As I recall the meal, including copious quantities of top shelf distilled spirits, cost less than $50 a person and encompassed so many courses I apologize if I miss any. We were seated around a low table on sofa-like cushions covered with piles of pillows in a semi-private room. The first thing that happened was meeting our wait staff and for a party of eight of us there were 15-20 staff. They, like the police, were color coded by status although they formed a much more pleasing palette of colors with four or five primary colors represented orchestrated by a tuxedo-clad maestro. He began with introductions and then clapped and the dance began.
First they wheeled out a well-stocked cart and began mixing drinks for all tableside. Once we were all sipping contentedly, out came two carts one heaped with a wide array of the finest cuts of meat including prime beef steaks, whole and parts of chicken, ducks, game birds, multiple cuts of lamb, and not surprisingly no pork. The other was stocked with a dazzling array of bounty from the sea. There were giant tiger prawns, many other sizes of shrimp, lobsters, crabs and steaks and filets from 10 or 15 fish. The conductor then began to describe the many ways these wonderful ingredients could be prepared and presented.
This took a fair amount of time but it passed pleasantly as the blue-suited attendants, who had responsibility for liquid refreshments, made certain that no glass ever sunk below half full. Upon completion of his recitation the maestro bid us to inspect the ingredients and determine which two main courses we desired and the ordering was accomplished by pointing at particular pieces of food which were then placed on a platter that was whisked off by the green team for preparation.
We then got our first run of hors de oeuvres which were toted out by the greens on the standard silver platters, while the reds described them. This consisted of many little delicacies like strawberries wrapped in grape leaves, little bowls of roasted nuts, and a multitude of other fresh fruits and things I couldn’t identify, each one on a little platter of it’s own. We pointed and ate and soon had staved off the pangs of starvation . The next course then presented itself by way of another cart which had a hibachi-style grill accompanied by a couple of the greens carrying platters of shrimp and lamb on skewers. These were intermixed with onion, peppers, and pineapple and as soon as they hit the grill the game was on. We went through quite a few racks of these and their excellent dipping sauces when it apparently was time for a musical interlude and all the food was whisked away all though that is an overstatement as nothing sat for more than 10 seconds before the ever efficient greens took it away.
The next step involved a three piece sitar, guitar and drum combo setting up and playing for us. This would have been nice enough but they raised the ante by having the blues and yellows team up with hot water and towels to clean hands and then to sit us back for hot towels on the face and neck and some light massage. We laid back and rested enjoying the soothing comfort and luxuriating in the flavors we had already enjoyed. The band was laying down the perfect Mediterranean groove and all was well in our world. After a nice interlude they pulled the towels off and we sat up to see that two dancers had joined the band adding nicely to the ambience. They kept our attention for another song or two before it was time for more food.
This involved a two wicked looking iron soup cauldrons wheeled out on, you guessed it, another cart. One was a seafood base and the other was chicken and they set up little burners with soup bowls on top for each of us, then you picked which soup you wanted and they ladled some into your bowl and got it cooking. Then they brought by a platter with ingredients, spices , herbs and other stuff and you got to pick what to add to your soup. They had all kinds of seafood for the one soup and little chunks of meat and veggies etc. to yum up your personal chicken soup. These simmered for a while and all the different herbs and spices mingled and it was amazing as everyone sensed their masterpieces finishing. The soup was one of the most flavorful things I have eaten and the way it was prepared kicked ass.
Curried and jasmine and saffron rice dishes came out next in earthenware crocks on platters with the greens and reds combining to show and serve your choices. It was amazing to see how varied the flavors were on such a simple base. None of the different rices looked like much more than regular, steamed rice, although the curried and saffron dishes were colored with reds and yellows. They all had very potent flavors and fragrances that were amazing. And they brought regular table implements to eat the rice with which pleased me as I had no chop stick skills. This was a quick and easy course since rice doesn’t have a whole lot of substance no matter how flavorful and we were soon on to the main courses
Most of us had listened to the maestro describing the various ways our food could be prepared and made our choices about an hour and a half ago but by the time the convoy of carts with the entrees rolled out most of us had forgotten what we had ordered. Consequently we were in for some pleasant surprises as our selections were revealed and I found out I had gone with the double surf & turf. I called it this as my platter had a lobster and a rack of tiger prawns done scampi style and a beef filet sitting next to half a roasted chicken. Looking around the table it was stunning to see the variety of meat, poultry, fish and sea critters represented. At this point we all looked around and decided that this had become a feast and therefore spearing and stealing the food of others was acceptable although sometimes dangerous. I enjoyed my food and as many other chunks of duck and pheasant and snapper and crab and lamb and shit I don’t even remember what all else that I managed to steal without suffering permanent injury.
We ate and drank and ate and talked trash and drank and ate and through the whole process nothing lingered for a minute once it was done and no glass went unloved and we were lords of all we surveyed. I don’t know how long we went on because we had everything we wanted and it would never have stopped if we hadn’t cried uncle. I wonder if I will ever surpass the sheer potential for excess and the thrilling fulfillment of all culinary desires. I imagine I may someday eat better food but I doubt I will ever equal the beautiful, excess of the moment.
