In the Crosshairs

Alternate title- The only comfy chair in the place.

I was recently introduced to BoConcept, the Danish modern, minimalist furniture line, by my girlfriend. We had the pleasure of visiting their store in Georgetown, DC while she shopped for a bed. She is of Norwegian extraction and I am Swedish so the chances of a Scandinavian DNA match were good. The styles certainly had the expected sleek and austere look. Matter of fact much of the stuff seemed designed to just barely be there.

This was certainly true for the bed she ended up picking, which projected a shiny, lacquered platform floating above, well just barely above the floor. That was another feature, the lowness I mean. That stems from several factors: She’s 5′2″ so ergonomically it makes sense, low is currently (and I guess historically) trendy, and OK I don’t know why, but low was the game.

SInce I am well-renowned as a hip, urbane, metro kinda guy, this was obviously a place where I could find many things to fit my eye. And I did. Most everything in the store fit my eye. it was my butt and back that didn’t get much of a fit. Now I will qualify this by exempting the beds and their memory foam style mattresses, those seem to have nothing but blissful, body hugging in mind. But the sofas, and sectionals and chairs…Yeah no. Even my girl copped to this saying “I looked at their furniture online and in the catalogs and loved it, but had never actually sat on any of it. And I gotta agree the sofas and chairs just aren’t comfortable.” A minimalist review, perfectly in character for her, and remember she did buy the bed and mattress.

It made me think of ascetics and their renouncing of worldly pleasures; there was no pleasure to be had sitting in any of them. I mean seriously, you had to balance on the front and hover forward ‘cuz if you sat back they had you leaning so far to the rear your abs got an unscheduled work out. This over-angling to the rear was consistent on every style of seating, bar one awesome, reclining masterpiece. This welcome exception was so atypical it seemed to have been smuggled in by a fellow traveler like me who craved only the opportunity to actually relax.

Taking advantage of this island of hedonism while the discussions about design, minimalism and delivery dates occurred, I contemplated just what the BoConcept was. Feet pleasantly elevated, head cradled in a leather embrace, Cool Rays on to minimize the glare from all the highly, yet un-brightly, varnished surfaces and it was time to ponder the near total lack of comfy spots to squat.

It really didn’t take long, which jived with the whole stripped down vibe, and the answer fit the Viking heritage my girl, the furniture, its creators and I all shared.

“Suffer during the day, so you sleep well at night.”

Simple, but like most things best not overthunk.

Friday was Walter Reed, today was the White House and tomorrow at 2 pm is Quantico to Clothe Bradley. Ok now, I’ve made quite a few videos, but this one is really kinda fun. I mean you know there will be silly moonbats and all that, but Concrete Bob turned me on to Hayseed Dixie (say it fast and it sounds like AC/DC). They do bluegrass covers of hard rock tunes and I put this to their version of War Pigs. It perfectly matches their festive lunacy. All video and stills via UJ(p)

There was a time when hotel room-destroying rock stars were a regular commodity. Every band had one, and sometimes it was the whole band. I’m sure there are some quality party animals out there, but honestly can any of them compete w/ Charlie Sheen. He is amazing. So after trashing a hotel and scaring a porn star silly, for the what maybe millionth time, Sheen is complaining that since he has put down the crack pipe CBS should get busy and film some TV before he goes batshit again. No seriously that’s his argument. Awesome.

Sheen insisted he is now “100%” clean and urged CBS and WBTV to take advantage of that. “I heal really quickly but I also unravel pretty quickly,” Sheen said. “So get me right now, guys.” Since his 36-hour bender that ended in a emergency hospital visit followed by a rehab treatment, Sheen has done 2 unfiltered interviews via text messaging, in which he called his detractors “turds.” He also made a surprise visit to a practice of UCLA’s baseball team, telling the guys: “Don’t do crack, drink chocolate milk, and enjoy every moment.”

You go brother, you go!

The paper of record has long since ceased to be that, and the institutional ideological biases render it useless as a chronicler of news. But there is some tremendous writing and storytelling if you simply avoid the propaganda sections. Today there several brilliantly simple tales that showcase the talent the Times can corral. They should consider becoming a weekly and just featuring pieces like these.

A Lake Superior Beer Tour- Simplest tale there is, a ride around sampling the seasonal local wares, and that is all it needed to be.

Chicken vanishes, heartbreak ensues- Equally simple story about the effect a couple of chickens can have on an otherwise cold urban environment.

Helping veterans trade their swords for plows- This just makes a ton of sense when you have a kid who really could use some peace, but also still needs a mission.

Fire the news operation and stick with what you do well NYT.

Did a bit on RT (more about them later) on Second Amendment issues post Tucson. It was actually way longer than this clip and they cut to other pieces about the topic and had me comment on them, but this is all they have posted now. It’s a good start anyhow.

As far as the knockdown, drag out, cage match slap fight between me and Gweneviere about women in combat:

Three takeaways have been pointed out.

1. Those chickies kicked UJ’s ass
2. He enjoyed it
3. He didn’t fight near as dirty as he could have

All three are correct. I could have done a ton of other things but I chose to be a gentleman. This is a long war strategy and I will live to fight another day and score some more points. If I had pummeled them, I would have looked like a jerk and gained little. The other thing I wish to dispel is the notion that somehow SF or SEAL units would not be professional enough to do this. I am not even close to saying that. If ordered they would do the best that anyone could to accomodate their new team mates and would salute and drive on. I am simply noting that no degree of professionalism can overcome nature, and nature says unequivocally that women would be a distraction. It’s not their fault, but it’s the way of the world.

I also pitched them an idea for a show that could get me whacked, the Putin TV Report. You see, if you didn’t know, RT Russia Today is a state company and they are often referred to as Pravda TV or Putin TV, so I pitched them a show based on Uncle J as the American ombudsman commenting on their coverage and ripping on their hosts and guests. Here is the demo I made in about an hour to show them. I figger Putin loves it, ‘cuz I am gonna treat him like a respected bad ass. If I disappear, well it was a fun ride.

I would have preferred to avoid this, but I refuse to be demonized by people with no shame. The shooter in Arizona was a crazy bastard and anyone who has used this horrific incident for political purposes should be ashamed. Sadly they aren’t.

Here are some of the comments since this happened.

Dick Mac says:
January 8, 2011 at 4:53 pm (Edit)

Nice job supporting this campaign, Uncle J! It sure has been effective.

You can’t use expressions like “lock and load” and imagery like “crosshairs” and pretend it is not a call for shootings. This was a call for shootings, and now they have begon.

#
Josh Lurie says:
January 9, 2011 at 12:23 pm (Edit)

Crosshairs, lock & load, Gabrielle Giffords….. nice job, Komrades!
#
Jared Carson says:
January 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm (Edit)

How does it feel to be complicit in the deaths in Arizona? You’re all a bunch of nasty ass retarded clowns. You abhor violence, but you love the imagery??… what a fucking pussy.

The time to strike is now, Gibby is packing his bags of lies and heading out to rake in some shady unregulated political baksheesh. But you know what that means, it’s time to put at least a couple of nuggets of truth a day in the White House Press Corps’ diet. I have been at this for a while but started started the campaign in earnest today at Big Government. You people are the base that can push this over the top. So if you haven’t seen the Press Briefs I did, they are here and here is the opening salvo below. If you tweet then tell @presssec Uncle Jimbo for Press Secretary and give them a link to the vids. I mean, ya’ never know.

Colman McCarthy’s excremental op-ed about keeping the military away from universities deserved its own In the Crosshairs. Content warning (hurray) for the F-bomb that falls as the last word.

I really do try to ignore Matthew Yglesias, but it is impossible to watch him lob softball after softball into the webs and not occasionally take one downtown. Today’s was short, sweet and as always self-inflicted.

“Almost” Certainly?

I don’t have anything particularly novel or insightful to say about the merits of expanding combat activities into Pakistan, but this is an alarming turn of phrase:

The decision to expand American military activity in Pakistan, which would almost certainly have to be approved by President Obama himself, would amount to the opening of a new front in the nine-year-old war, which has grown increasingly unpopular among Americans. It would run the risk of angering a Pakistani government that has been an uneasy ally in the war in Afghanistan, particularly if it leads to civilian casualties or highly public confrontations.

I’m told that once upon a time, an actual vote of congress was required to initiate military activities.

First of all this and pretty much everything he has ever written is covered by the first 10 words of his piece.

I don’t have anything particularly novel or insightful to say…

You are correct sir, and yet you always continue on, why?

I’m told that once upon a time, an actual vote of congress was required to initiate military activities.

Gee Matt, I know it’s tough to keep up but Congress passed an Authorization to Use Military Force overwhelmingly.

That the President is authorized to use all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons he determines planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, or harbored such organizations or persons, in order to prevent any future acts of international terrorism against the United States by such nations, organizations or persons.

Kinda seems to cover that pesky Congress voting issue when 420 in the House and 98 in the Senate give the President a planet-wide hunting license.

Episode two of the Uncle J as Press Secretary season.